Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Cosmic Renewal: [ra♋it edition].

Sunday, 8/14/2011
-in typical fashion, this piece was posted and then removed, posted again, and finally removed yet again. I'm going to go ahead and post it now, as I know it is important, but I'm posting it because I think I understand it now. . . I had a bit of an issue this summer with a capital "S" and the notion of individuating. I spent most of the summer reading a book that grounded me (but totally devastated me). Because of what I took it to say, I didn't know what to do anymore. small s (self) = ego & big S (Self) = God. YOU ARE NOT GOD was its message. What is one to do? . . .  This piece was me working it out, but not understanding it until now, after coming down from The Holy Mountain. . . . Individuating is what you are called to do, and only you can figure out how to do that. (there is help), But your job is find center, and create a living relationship to it. (Ask Andras about his tree, it's beautiful). It is fascinating to me that I found The Black Rock accompanied by my family. That goes a long ways toward supporting the thesis below about what's important and also that individuating (becoming the youest you) isn't selfish. The collective depends upon you going down your path and discovering you--creating your own living cosmology, rituals, and meaning. (The world depends on this!) . . .  as to the considerations of the so called theologies of other sync-ers--I will be the first to state how this is me trying to understand my perception of what is being said--as well as me creating dualities in my own mind where they might not actually be present otherwise. I don't question to attack but to understand my relationship to philosophies that I've been associated with and have promoted . .  Anyway, read if you like about how I found center by being open enough to follow a dream to where it led me, in this case to The Black Rock, the center of the universe, which peculiarly enough is actually in me and not out there at all. . . 

"What happens with modernity? Do you go on journeys to the center?"

Suppose, for example, that I am a primitive herdsman, and I have a family. Perhaps I'm Abraham wandering around in the desert, and I'm getting tired of it, tired of feeling lost all the time. Luckily I happen to know about rituals and divination, so I get my special goat that was revealed to me in my dreams, and I set this goat loose, because I know it is a sacred goat who can find the center of the world. It is an insrtument of divination. I don't know where the sacred spot is, but I believe my goat can find it. So I let my goat wander around, and we all follow that goat. When it stops, in the biblical tradition, at a place called Bethel, we all know that this must be sacred space, the center of the world, the axis mundi. This is where Jacob's ladder is, where traffic takes place between the sacred and profane realms. We offer up a sacrifice and put up a pile of stones to mark the place or put an altar there. ~Facing The Dragon Robert L. Moore.

this post likely is going to be long and rambling, a circumnabulation, that goes around and around trying to basically say one thing, to get at the old greek adage of knowing thyself . . .

before I start spinning though, I just want to stress the importance of finding your own center. As I get into to it, I'm sure I'll talk about the idea of taking on a false center. Only you can know where your center lies, and only you can determine how to get there (it's not of this world after all). I will share my personal journey of my cosmic renewal this past solstice in an effort to help you find your own center, (and to help me stay aligned to my own truth!)

let's start w/ Jupiter though . . . on 6.19 (father's day):

My father's day this year began with a story on the front page of my local paper, The Statesman (the name of which is funny cuz I've been so vocal about States of Being) The headline read:

A new nature movement imagines a future more like Boise than ‘Blade Runner’

-I love that Blade Runner is the antimony. This is silly and funny because of how much time we've spent on this film. For me, the story gets at my issue, the ecological one (but is also my MLC). The price of life. The cost of our way of life. What it takes to fuel a "Death Star". I'm not trying to "judge" our current system (Global Consumer Capitalism), but I do want to evaluate it, and consider if its adoption was part of a natural evolutionary process (maybe even God's plan), or if its unconsciousness and maintenance is destroying us . . .

this post is going to be about it all you know. . .

For many, the Tiger bit, hard (2010)--for me this Metal Rabbit has been something else.

I'm smack dab in the middle of a midlife crisis, and everything that has been happening has been touched by this. Everything syncing right now speaks to this moment in my life, and my inadequacy. Many of the  bodies that I've believed in, have ruptured and I've exiled myself (both at work and here in the underworld). In short, this past year I've lost two very dear things that I could believe in--religions almost--to which I've found myself shut out . . . (which is almost entirely my fault too)

(this is not going how I thought it would.)

Anyway, throughout my various "battles" this past year, I've been forced to state as clearly and concisely as possible an answer for who I am and what I believe. The hint of this began last year when I wrote something for my day job--which of course was too much for them to publish in the newsletter. Later after the world had collapsed and purpose was in doubt, I wrote a letter to everyone that put it all on the line. It was then that I was able to most clearly say what I believe. . . 
In my various contemplations this winter, I've come upon an interesting existential notion. Often times we are asked to make a choice in regards to that which we serve. By default, many of us end up serving "material". It is quantifiable. We can "measure" material. One can determine success in a number of ways by examining that which we can examine: material. Life on the other hand is a little harder to quantify. I serve life, and I believe this is what our institution serves. We aren't just a store, and as such, I really need to underline to the board of directors just what they are holding in their hands now.
I know who I am and what I serve. I know what I believe, and the Co-op helped me to find this.
I seek the authentic and practice thoughtfulness. I serve life. 
What do you serve?
 -of course if you've been following the action here at The Mask, you'll probably intuit that it didn't work out . . .

Global Consumer Capitalism carried the day, (and The New Earth was not born where I thought it would be, though the Divine Invasion is still underway . . . )

of course another question though is, was there even really a battle? Did I just make all this UP? All the drama, everything? The system is the system whether I oppose it or not. . .

Today is 7/19 and sadly this post has really gotten away from me. I kept thinking that its importance was keeping me from writing it, but who knows. I'll try and find the thread, but the amount of spinning that I've done lately has left me dazed and confused. . . 

(I think I've tried to capture the entire universe in a jar, you know, present the Unus Mundus in a sync post--talk about grandiosity!)

We won't get far
Flying in circles inside a jar
Because the air we breathe
Is thinning with the words that we speak

So July huh?

(it's funny how when you get off The Now, the syncs don't matter as much. They loose their numinosity and magnamity)-

so much of this earlier post was thinking about last year, when I traveled to Winnipeg and began meeting the various avatars that I'd mixed with up untill then only in the underworld, in the Cave of Voices.

That was my journey to center last year, The Cosmic Ti♋er. And after that event, I fancied myself something of a Blue Butterfly. Yet where we ended up this past Father's Day communicated what I had become:

Part of this day, Father's Day 2011, was a scouting mission. Not really conscious either. As I've said in various past posts, I've been going out to go in. It is really silly too. I started my year off at The Source, but just not understanding it. (right now I'm fighting to understand what I'm pointing at, my journey somehow made sense up until just recently.) But obviously, I've been trying to find my way back to the source again (which will happen next weekend).

So, as my children and I began to explore my Wilderness State on Father's Day--I conceived of camping trip for the solstice not realizing that it was the anniversary of last year's get together. I decided that we needed to campout where I had had my "Phaedra" dream. (and here the syncs begin, as Phaedra means "bright" and "shining") So I located the first campsite on the North Fork of The Boy See River which brought us to The Black Rock on road 327 following Rabbit Creek for this year's solstice. I guess this is where I was supposed to be this year. Huh?

but now (8/2), let's talk of philosophy . . .

Since I've started my sync blogging, I've been on the lookout for my cosmology: What's my relationship to the universe? What's my understanding of God? How should one live?

Our desire for an Essence or a God to anchor the world made us increasingly oblivious to our experience of it. As our monotheistic quest for the foundation of meaning fell short, we slid down the slippery slope toward nihilism, toward the sense that nothing had any sense at all. As we strove to get out of this morass, we only slipped further, since striving was a big part of the problem.
. . . The authors see Ahab’s determination as “the wicked core of his monomaniacal monotheism,” and they understand the novel as a stirring critique of the modern search for an existential foundation.
“At the center of Melville’s understanding of the whale is the idea that there is no meaning to the universe hidden behind its surface events, that the surface events themselves” are all there is. ~NYT on All Things Shining
The Whale is a Mystery

All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough. He tasks me; he heaps me; I see in him outrageous strength, with an inscrutable malice sinewing it. That inscrutable thing is chiefly what I hate; and be the white whale agent, or be the white whale principal, I will wreak that hate upon him. Talk not to me of blasphemy, man; I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. For could the sun do that, then could I do the other; since there is ever a sort of fair play herein, jealousy presiding over all creations. But not my master, man, is even that fair play. Who's over me? Truth hath no confines.~Moby Dick Ch. 36 "The Quarter-Deck"

of course, I'm always playing both sides, and thus am conflicted . . . 

 On one hand, one can tell a story that Ahab is the individuating hero . . .
(Moby Dick is so fascinating--The conventional wisdom is that Ahab is the villain. He faced the whale and united with self though.)

On the other hand, Ahab's quest can be seen as an attempt to undo the very fabric of the universe. To know the ultimate truth of the universe is to tilt the machine

. . . seen another way, Ahab wants the certainty of classical physics . . .
yet, he lives in a quantum universe.
to achieve certainty and find the state of a thing
is to break its quantum state (destroy the magic?)

(to make one's self God?)
(to kill God at the very least. . .)
is self Self?
right or left hand?

So too does Melville give us an Elijah, an old sailor who goes by that name and who prophesizes that Ahab is beyond redemption. 'Look ye; when captain Ahab is all right, Elijah says, then this left arm of mine will be all right: not before.' The left arm, of course, is the sinister one--sinister in latin just means left. When left is right, in other words, when evil has taken the place of good, then Ahab's sickness will be over.~All Things Shining
I've been reading two very interesting and sometimes difficult books this summer:

They both have helped to remind me of what I know:

There is only this; all else is unreal.”
What else is life but living?”
(life is the meaning of life)

An Appreciation For 'All Things Shining'

Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train

"Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth ... when the morning stars sang together?" 

Facing The Dragon posits that the universe/psyche is constructed in such a way that it consists of both forces of "Good" and "Evil". The Good in this cosmology is God or The Self--which manifests as contained within an individual. God exists then with both a King and Queen polarity, thus though the author believes in the maxim that the kingdom of God is found within, he also states that the kingdom is presided over by a King and Queen that are not YOU, nor your parents. These universal, archetypical constituents are BIGGER than you. Thus, self ≠ Self. You need to connect to Self in this estimation, but when you begin to think yourself the Self, then the Dragon of Grandiosity, (The [d]Evil) has overcome you.

Right off the bat you can begin to sense how this book might rub SYNC the wrong way. (it doesn't have to in my estimation), but it really doesn't play nice w/ the Left Handed (sinister) path. The author's point in this book, is to show how all the ills of the world are due to improperly directed archetypal energies--that with our mythic break down, we've lost the rituals to let these "god connections" flow through us causing a stagnation of archetypal energies within our psyche and overwhelming us with Crowlian notions of being The Self. . . (which is the author's POV--I can be persuaded different ways on different days)

The author then shows how the result of said stagnated energies lead to the addictions and problems and news of the day that we moderns have grown accustomed to as our normal lives to vent these pent up archetypal unconscious flows. That we are projecting them upon the canvas or reality, and that we've been fooled into thinking that we are actually God.

Challenging right? Everyman is a star, or merely a creature made of the stars?  It forces one to again wonder about purpose. Does life have purpose? Is there a plan? The gnostics think so, and various religions arrive at a similar point. There must be more than this, right?

All Things Shining arrives at a similar point.  The point being, where and how we secular moderns lost meaning, and where and how we might refind it. This book discuses how the west supplanted the notion of God through its story of progress making the individual the sole responsible agent for his or her actions, thus the source. The tale of arriving at our secular modern nihilism is a fascinating look at the loss of meaning as a history of the west--like the dark mirror to the history of progress.

The authors conclude that we moderns need to relearn the type of polytheistic enjoyment of moods available in Homer--that the answer to our emptiness is to "get in sync" with the flow. Really. They uphold Ishmael from Moby Dick as their exemplar, as he's open to what is going on and willing to let go of that which has passed. Where Ahab wants certainty, Ishmael merely "is" at any given moment--it's a world of probability (quantum). The meaning then lies at the surface. Life is the meaning of life. This is what we are doing right now. The interesting point however is that the individual ceases to be The Source, but a conduit through which one's life and actions flow.

hermeneutics |ˌhərməˈn(y)oōtiks|
plural noun [usu. treated as sing. ]the branch of knowledge that deals with interpretation, esp. of the Bible or literary texts.

ORIGIN late 17th cent.: from Greek hermēneutikos, from hermēneuein ‘interpret.’

--But what to make of the various cosmologies found here on the blogs?
(and why do I care?  --I'm a seeker, and have been looking. Many people are persuasive and certain about what they know and believe. . . I need more than faith. I need experience).

One could look at the theology/cosmology of The Sync Whole in a number of ways. I've been conflicted  with the idea of submission to their Jupiter, but to their credit (if the author of the dragon book is correct), their estimation of god does contain a Male and Female component--two thrones are exalted within their conception of God. Yet, I've always been troubled by the upwardness and outwardness of their symbol as well as the concreteness of their planetary pointer.(It often feels like "God" was out there, and that  one, with the help of the central mediator, could access this God). The most problematic portion though is the notion that this material life is somehow base and must be transcended to the real life. It is the idea of maya--illusion. And sync does have a tendency to make one to think that all this is all an illusion, a mystery play. (and thus we don't need to care about anything but our own personal spiritual journey) The author of the dragon book would say that we are projecting and acting out these archetypal energies and have created a wasteland by having no place to channel these energies, this story, thus making a mystery play of reality. (Sometimes of course, I think they (the Sync Whole) have it exactly right--that they have located The Self and let go to it. That they are in dialog with The King and Queen via SYNC, and that they aren't exalting the signifiers (the actors) but the signified, the archetypes for which they stand--that which shines through The Mask. The notion of a fixed center though, is almost always a deal breaker for me.)

Another nice feature of The Sync Whole theology is the emphasis on joy--and this is where I doubt myself the most in challenging them. That some how, by calling JOY the God that focuses us, we could create The New World--one that heals the King (the bad dad), transforms the Wasteland and frees the Prisoners. The Way forward. . . (it's hard though, to not consider that The Darkness of The World that we've created (brought into being) is being avoided by only seeing joy with an unwillingness to drop into this darkness and find a way out).

Lately, Eleleth has been detailing the Gnostic Cosmology of The Demiurge which adds another something to the Sync Whole's 42. It's his conjecture (according to Crowley), that the 42 God isn't god at all, but one who has believed himself God--and that his creation (our world) is close to perfect, but not quite-- thus it became necessary to fashion and inject a messiah into the imperfect system--but what he, the demiurge (the bad dad) didn't know was that his chosen one really was the messiah that would save the imperfect creation and redeem the bad dad--The Son makes The Father whole.

Phillip K Dick obviously was using this gnostic cosmology as the underpinnings for his science fictions. And my problem again with gnosticism in general has to do with the idea that material is somehow base, that our bodies are bad (prisons), and that it is spirit that is pure and good. That heaven is the goal of life, which is beyond material. (interestingly, if you study how Jake Kotze syncs, you'll notice that he isn't seeking any goal outside of pointing. His "zen" practice is syncing, staying in the flow, and recognizing the connections. He's seems to not be seeking an ultimate truth (the secrets of the universe), or an answer so much as being true and open to his flow (and maybe that's the secret of the universe). It spins! (and it is a mystery).

The authors of All Things Shining explained Melville's intention as one of putting the quest of gnosis to bed--that the mystery remains a mystery and stays a mystery. The mask is a mask, and the meaning lies at its surface. Contributing to this conjecture that the rabbit hole continues on forever is a theme I've been into this summer (of those who try to Know God--such as Ahab). One of the books I've been reading connects mathematicians who study infinity and initiates who study the Kabbalah with results of both endeavors being oftentimes similar-- a trail of dead bodies. Infinity has not been kind to mathematicians.

And all of these thoughts conflict me . . . 
(for I've taken myself to be Center for a time. I discovered that I was the imposter God (the demiurge), the 42.) Yet what do I do with that?

When I conceive of God lately, I continually return to The Super Massive Black Hole at the center of our galaxy. It is a monster. (it is Self) yet it contains two thrones . . .
(this is satisfying on some inscrutable level--whether or not that goofy dragon book has any credence or not. . . )

yet this began as a battle w/ God, or something. I would not submit, but to whom was it that I really had a problem?

So obviously, we don't need to kill The Shark or The Whale (The Mystery), and we do need to be open to the moods that are flowing through us, but what then is The Monster with witch I'm engaged?

it's us!

it's our unconscious pursuit of material as meaning
and what we are willing to do to maintain our position 
as empty, mortal gods . . .

I think we are possessed by a demon:

--I don't know if it was in Childhood's End, but that was how you and I referred to "The Last Generation
(The Indigo Children)

Now, I want you to know that I definitely do feel like Jan Rodricks, the last man, gone into the Whale to witness The End
how do we not judge if consciousness is completely changing forms and moving on . . .

I see this phenomenon when I go to rock shows. Young folks are too busy texting about the experience instead of experiencing the experience. It is an ominous sight too. Blue glowing faces in the dark with their eyes and head down and their thumbs moving furiously. They look like possessed zombies tapped into some addictive source.~"Convergence"

What if this is the fight of our time? Possession is happening! the demon uses electricity!
Robopocalypse = before
The Matrix = after.
Are we called to fight this evil? or am I projecting again?

look into the crystal podling. . .

Facing The Dragon?
Its author thinks that the dragon tricks us into believing that we have no limits and that we can do whatever we want, that we are, in effect, God
the sole source of our life, actions, and decisions
(he thinks we lack humility)

(you can't kill it though, The Dragon, so he says, but I'm definitely going to try and get right with it so that we can turn this monster economy around)

--and I've always know where to LOOK for the answer: (i just need to constantly remind myself)

(this was something I wrote in early 2008 for a JOB overseas to which I applied. I was asked to capture me in two pages--I didn't get the job, of course, but it does illuminate my path. . . )

In an attempt to consider who I am and to try and capture that in prose, I suppose that I must first begin with the word, or more precisely what the word is attempting to communicate.  In this instance, it’s me, but what is the nature of communication?  And what is the point of art and why am I drawn to it?  I’m fascinated by the transcendent idea that language strives to express.  I don’t know what we call this idea—inspiration, truth, beauty, mythology, love, or God, but this is what language serves.  We might also refer to language as music, art, math, poetry, dance, literature, computer code, and so on.
How might I present the notion that is myself in prose?  Perhaps the following statement comes close.  The Holy Grail is in the belly of the whale.  Somehow, this tiny poem communicates a truth beyond language that also seems to convey a sense of me.  What is the Holy Grail?  The goal in the medieval grail quests was to find and view the object unveiled.  They sought a purer understanding.  But what drove Ahab on his quest toward Moby Dick?  Intention is everything.  Water in mythology often represents one’s subconscious, and the whale or monster in the water is that with which one struggles.  One must face one’s own whale in the dark depths of self to find the truth.  And the only access to this truth is through language.
This is why I love language, and am drawn to it in its various forms.  Although the importance of language is secondary to that which it communicates, if the craft or ability of the communication is lacking, the truth is lost.  And it is the truth that is important.  It doesn’t matter if we are talking about the poetry of Goethe, the art of Picasso, or the squiggly guitar solo of Jimi Hendrix.  It’s all the same.  They all had and spoke a truth in their various mediums, but what made them truly remarkable was the ability and craft of their expression and how much of that truth they were able to capture through their skills in their mediums.  It’s the idea of expression in various forms that has united my diverse education.
An Austrian coincidence is actually what prompted me to study German.  As a high school student, I became fascinated with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart as he was portrayed in the award winning American film.  Due to this influence, I developed a love of classical music.  After high school, I majored in music in the classical conservatory setting.  I studied classical guitar and music education, but really wanted to compose music.  To satisfy this desire, I formed a rock band and realized that dream for five years.   This was an important time for me, as I feel it was through this experience that I became the person I am today: creative, organized, dependable, self-motivated—all the qualities one needs when trying to promote a band or one’s self.
When I returned to the university, I discovered a love of literature after taking a Medieval Literature class.  I decided to study German Literature instead of the more traditional English Literature.  Studying German made my English stronger.  It slowed my reading, causing me to think about individual words, as well as introducing me to the art of discerning the quality of translations.  Naturally, I was also exposed to literature that was beyond the realm of the English canon.  An English major would likely read Kafka, but Büchner and Brecht?  This was a privileged path indeed.
Why should this path physically lead to Austria though, and what is the nature of my own grail quest? The whale in the depths that I struggle with has the same name as Nietzsche’s golden dragon, “Thou-shalt”.  Often I’ve thought about this struggle in terms of a father-son dynamic with a father figure embodying authority telling me that I should compromise my belief in Joseph Campbell’s precept to “follow your bliss”.  The truth of the matter though, is that this struggle of mine is not with an outside authority, but with myself.  Probably this is the case for everyone, and the truth is always there inside of us.  The Holy Grail is in the belly of the whale.  

--I called this document "unveiled" yet what I thought I was unveiling was Self--that was the quest, but later that year, I learned my lesson . . . 

--so what I really found was self's relationship to Self. 
The point is to point. 
The Holy Grail is in The Belly of The Whale.

[here is a perfect illustration of my summer dilemma. How does one who knows that God and everything is within not think that they are the center of everything and the source of all actions? Does individuation mean transforming self into Self? And what is left if self must die, yet one isn't Self? hard spot huh? ego is merely the spacesuit that got you through the turbulence of the first half of your life. It isn't your body, and you needn't identify with it anymore. It has served you well, but now it's time to leave it behind. There is more you to explore. It'll be ok. Follow your Whale--but know that you don't own it, and that it's bigger than you. Develop a healthy respect of it, but follow nonetheless . . .(don't loose your life in the process though--life is living, and sharing, breathing, eating, loving, laughing, sorrow, joy--al that spins and swirls.]

and I found it here too: (in room 217, if you remember, The Shining)

More of my exploration of room 217 happened on 712 when I traveled north to The Heart of The Monster:

so . . .
Real fast, Coyote decided to be swallowed by the monster that was eating everything--once inside the belly of the beast he smoked the monster out and cut out its heart from the inside--from the different portions of the monster the different tribes were born--The Nez Perce were born of the heart and this is the heart of their territory.

The syncs, my syncs (look at my son's shirt--that is the monster, look at my son's heart) before I left I was into Robopocalypse and Alone Together--the Movies on the trip? G Force and The 9--the monster is unmitigated technology coming alive!

part of me wants to believe that this is just the next stage of evolution--(but I also have a sense that this is the fight of our time) That the indigo children are infected by a demon.

So what's in Room 217  Jack? are you willing to face this madness or do you want to run away like a sacred little boy?

What if you learned the secret of The Overlook Hotel?

do you go psychotic? Or can it end another way?

I sometimes wonder if the prophets never stopped--our artists do read the collective unconscious after all--so LOTR, The Matrix, Lost all in a short time . . . and my role?

order 172

we travled to the heart of the monster on 712 (July 12th) (and camped on the Selway river @ Johnson Bar) --Sell Way is fitting as the state of ID just sold the potion across on highway 12 to Exon Mobil (on The Lochsa river--Lock Saw) --traveled Highway 12 on 12th and Highway 13 on the 13th.

(after New Meadows one enters a new world where the rivers go the other direction--definitely a turning point!)

actually here is a turning point .

much of my work is coming together this summer--but  I don't know what to make of it due to one of the books I'm reading.
I'm going to try and stay open . . . 

Western Society, detached from its Judeo-Christian roots, was compulsively materialistic, spiritually impoverished, and technologically obsessed. Collectively we were perpetuating the mistake of the alchemists, projecting our spiritual aspirations into material things in the delusion that we were pursuing the highest value. This had encouraged us to treat each other as economic commodities and exploit the physical resources of the planet while neglecting to our own detriment, the spiritual resources of the Self.~Jung: A Very Short Introduction
I think Gaga is a false Queen. a plastic imitation of what is being lost. ( that the equation is unbalanced currently and we are loosing something).we wonder now at technology, but not butterflies . . .

(2011 has been the Summer of Butterflies)

Christian Bale ends up with Colin Farrel's girl (America's Soul, the yellow butterfly--Pocahontas)
of course only after Colin goes off on his ego quest and leaves her behind (to his twin?) 
she lets go of her name 
and eventually becomes Rebecca.
--this is not a Christian Bale role either. Like the exact opposite. (he is meek.)
--and the meek shall inherit the earth . . . 


i am not the source of my actions.
i am not the source of my life.
my actions flow out of me
life flows out of me.

what's yours?

I've been looking for mine for a while--
science must be a part of it
(it's our new religion)
also "The Cloud"

anyway . . .

The internet is The Grid, is The Matrix, is The Cloud.
 is God? (the new source of life?)--or our demon?

I fight it.

The internet is Self?

as far as stories go though, secular moderns use science (the tool) to explain their cosmology (The Big Bang), how and why. What's missing often is the awe, wonder and grace (we have lots of information, but no meaning, and as a result, very little gratitude )--and this is likely due to science the religion: Scientific Materialism. Because material is the only thing we can see, that is all there is (until you move beyond classical science, and then the bottom drops out on material, because it is mostly just emptiness )

one of the interesting thrusts of the 20th century has been the movement away from a sense of place. Corporations have made everyplace the same. Americaland. and The internet has undone the notion of distance. Everything is here and now. at the touch of a button. (which is hard not to judge one way or the other)

But, (and here is why I don't care a hill of beans for Egypt, Jerusalem, or Winnipeg,) the hero of the story has to have a physical connection to the land for meaning. The coyote story detailed the boundary of their world (it listed the sacred mountains) and this ordered their world and existence. Their story took place in the very location that they dwelt. A living cosmology.

my research has found that right now, this is Self:

(it's actually bigger than this, but taking anymore on than this right now might kill me!)

The Source/Self unveiled: (7.31.2011)

Ishmael’s satisfaction with his interpretation of the picture at the Spouter Inn reflects Melville’s content with his wicked book. “[N]o hopefulness is in it,” Melville says, “no despair. Content—that is it.” The account is a good one, in both cases, an interpretation that makes much sense of things as they stand. But there is no hope that it is more than this, no longing for some further, final, ultimate truth; and there is no despair, either, at the thought that such a deep and final truth might not be found.~All Things Shining
For now, since by many prolonged, repeated experiences, I have perceived that in all cases man must eventually lower, or at least shift, his conceit of attainable felicity; not placing it anywhere in the intellect or the fancy; but in the wife, the heart, the bed, the table, the saddle, the fire-side; the country;~Moby Dick "A Squeeze of the Hand


  1. I disagree with your idea that Harry Potter doesn't present a workable cosmology. The Demiurge (the Potter) simply finds his little universe one day in a state of primeval chaos, and goes through a series of trials and initiations in order to put it in a state of order.

    The books begin with Harry's liberation from the False Garden of the Muggle world, when he is given Gnosis by the serpent.

    Anything that cannot be experientially confirmed is sophistry, really.

  2. no, I think I've found that The Harry Potter story almost has it all

    the landmarks are English--and thus by default theymyth communicates that The People are English

    It's a whole universe though

    How would one create a myth that defines The People as everyone?
    the whole world as the sacred geography . . .

    and as far as what I think,
    man I really don't know.

    after I state something, I completely disagree with it--
    probably one should average what I say and look for a pattern.

    I think to state my goal, it is showing that the false garden of the muggle world is the paradise we've been looking for, that the exit and entrance are the same door.

    The hero's journey is not invalidated

    but balance is the ultimate goal . . .

  3. I'm sure I'll get lots of flack for this,
    or people just won't read it.

    part of my practice is questioning.

    it's the only way I can experience the world for myself
    --to consider the various outlooks . . .

    I don't know if I ever arrive anywhere, but this is how I've been doing it.

  4. and
    I invite anyone who wishes to do so,
    to show me the folly of my ways.

    take my various premises to task
    and let me know how I come up short.

    that my greatest flaw (and not my greatest strength) is my lack of conviction to commit to one philosophy.

    that if I chose a path, that I might GO somewhere
    instead of nowhere

    (now here?)

  5. Right. The Tree of Life is in the Garden. Dorothy has to return to Kansas. But the trip into Oz is "participation in the mystery."

    Gnostic dualism is a heretical misunderstanding, born out of taking the material in a literal and not archetypal (Jungian) sense.

    Once I "Finish the Books," I'll tell you if the Potterology measures up. I suspect that the All Things Shining authors may have missed Melville's point, but, again, I need to read the book(s) for myself.

  6. and I have books to read (and write) as well.

    finish it.

    I really like the gnostic story
    and want to explore it much more (and will)

    and though we should read our metaphor as such,
    (our times are pretty literal)
    so likely some idol smashing is in order to get at the light.

    (of course the one of the likeliest solutions is that I'm everything that is wrong with the world . . .
    why you just go ahead and die and save the rest of us your fat lot of suffering.

    --that's what I'm trying to do, i think!

  7. @Eunus...I revel in your questioning spirit. I'm convinced that it is not knowing but seeking that separates the wise man from the unwise one. Christ said to SEEK first the kingdom and all these other things will be added to you (he didn't say find the kingdom, declare yourself king, and think you know everything). I agree that it is folly to declare oneself a god. Still I think we must acknowledge the divine spark within us.

    This past year has been a chastening for me as well. I chose my side and several of my pillars crumbled in the wake, most significantly the corporate career into which I used to put so much faith.

    I have no answers. I struggle daily as you do (as do all of us I'm sure). However, I do feel quite strongly from all I've been privileged to witness on this new journey that there is no failure in God, no flaw in Nature. If there is a flaw it is in me (my lower self as opposed to my higher Self). And I see no conflict in continuously seeking to raise my self to my Self while understanding that there will always be infinite levels of knowingness yet beyond my reach.

    If you can know it, it isn't God.

  8. so I've been to the park and aired out a bit.

    I don't know why I had to do this post, but it needed to come out--
    and if it has any value, other than getting it out, I don't know . . .

    I will say, that right off the top, I misconstrued Moore's idea of The Great Dragon stating that it was somehow separate from Self or the antimony of Self. It is the same thing. Moby Dick is the Great Dragon is The Self.

    Our relationship and consciousness to The Great Self within is up to each individual, and so that is one philosophy, that like an equation, I worked my way through . . .

    also sometimes all these various puzzle pieces all fit together beautifully
    --and sometimes not
    (my universe isn't static--though if it were, it would be easier!)

    I have to stay with both

    the light depends upon the dark
    it's in the give and take of the so called dualities that anything occurs.

    "The whale told Rainbow Fish how their mean words had hurt him and made him angry. Rainbow Fish told the whale how frightened they were when the whale kept watching them.

    'We though you might want to eat us,' said Rainbow Fish

    The whale was surprised. 'I only watched you because you are so pretty,' he said.

    They both laughed.

    'Come along now,' said the whale. 'Let's find some new hunting grounds.'"

  9. I almost added this to the post,

    it works and is powerful, but isn't the tone I want to end with.
    interesting that I found it, or duh
    this is how it works I guess.

  10. What I am constantly struck by is how your attempts to interface with Nature seem to be so overtly esoteric; i.e. you visit the Black Rock in the Heart of the Monster? Doesn't that say everything about where the Source dwells? Are you doing this on purpose?

    Ahab and Moby Dick have to die together. Harry and Ahab were both maimed by their nemeses.

    One shouldn't try to intellectualize it--one either discovers this firsthand or learns to live with the Empire. The latter is the saner choice.

  11. Did you post the Coal Man tent pic for me? No, you didn't, but that Coleman thing was synching this month.

    V's lair is the Shadow Gallery. Or Plato's Cave. Awesome post, I think that things sort of "broke out" today. It's a feeling of a pent up thing being let go.

  12. " The Holy Grail is in the belly of the whale. But what drove Ahab on his quest toward Moby Dick? Intention is everything. Water in mythology often represents one’s subconscious, and the whale or monster in the water is that with which one struggles. One must face one’s own whale in the dark depths of self to find the truth. And the only access to this truth is through language."

    Captain Picard was called an Ahab when he went seeking the whale/Borg. Like Ahab, he was assimilated and afterwards became known as Locutus of Borg. "to speak".

  13. Harry and Voldemort = Ahab and the whale. Voldemort gave Harry (the wounded Demiourgos) his scar; Ahab's scar was given to him by whale. To kill Voldemort, Harry must die, as Voldemort had been "assimilated" into himself.

    It's all the same damn story. Voldemort's downfall was that he never saw any value in children's fables.

  14. So Harry goes to the Black Rock in the sixth book and find the alchemical Regulus.

    In the seventh book, Harry, having been "assimilated" through Polyjuice potion, descends into the Heart of the M.O.M. (Ministry of Magic) in order to take the Horcrux from Mother Monster, Dolorosa Umbridge.

    (It may be too late to call J.K. and ask her not to kill you . . .)


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